Y Phulumulu

I have a surname and it is Phulumulu.

It is not because I find it more pleasing to the ear. It is not because I am married. It is not because I believe depression is a lame excuse for a badly-written post.

Phulumulu means gay in Nepal. As banci is in Indonesia.

Like bayot, bakla and agi in the Philippines, it has other siblings in this Himalayan fortress: meta, ta, hijra, singaru, lingi, dohori, straen, maruni, mugia, kothi, kotha, and nakophuli - with each one corresponding to every existing caste there is to be found in Nepal. Of course, this does not mean they harbor the feudal, ultra-conservative and very patriarchal nature of the caste system. Who would?

I got these names from friends I have met in Blue Diamond Society, the first ever gay-lesbian-bisexual-transgendered organization in Nei-pohk-yee (Cantonese for Nepal). Already in existence for more than six years, BDS has established a name for the GLBT community as they advanced the rights and welfare of the sexual minorities fighting every form of sexual ostracism and bigotry, usually coming from the local police.

Unlike in one part of Indian culture where a ritual can be made to bless a homosexual in the family, this is greatly, and sadly, absent in Nepal. The BDS decided to take this issue, not only by the tip of their fingers but with a big grasping hand.

They have a hotline, training workshops, discussions and a lot of great hope and resolve to make waves in changing the Nepali mindset and culture. They are a GLBT group, not just a gay one, because they think to effect change in this portion of that societal struggle, the gays cannot do it alone.

Right now, they are forwarding amendments to the Nepali constitution to enshrine the rights and aspirations of sexual minorities as part of building a new Nepal.

Because according to them, gays and the rest of the GLBT community are a huge contributing sector of the society. They are not simply defined by their sexuality. They do not only think about whom to have sex with the following day. They too have lives and families to love, to enlighten, and to support.

I was once called Kiran Taman in Nepal. But after meeting them, I switched to Kiks Phulumulu.

What would be you?

Pictures are from Blue Diamond Society. First was about their gay parade. The second one is Sunil, founder and president of BDS.
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And since it is surname fascination this time, let me introduce Rachel Yamagata, an American-born Japanese-Italian-German singer who is more than just a part of a TV series soundtrack.

She is the source of my happy during these Hong Kong winter days worsened further by a mix of mud-colored fashion and dandruff terror.

Her raspy-smoky voice, alternative-jazz-soul-funk tones and all-time almost-Fiona-Apple-like-but-not-and-might-be-better words would perk you up and relax you at the same time while you hold that mug of warm wine as you snuggle in your office chair or that worn-out sofa back at home.

She would still make you feel good even as she sings you in and out of love.

After a full day outside, sit back or just walk home happily and soundly as you listen to Rachel. Add to Worn Me Down, another heart is this: Be Be Your Love.

Coniang Bonnie

Way back in college, I encountered a conia girl who grew up from Goldilocks High. Let's call her Bonnie.

Every day of that year, I had to contend with her endless rantings. With that infamous twang.

Bonnie(in increasing pitch and volume): You know what happened to me this morning? You know what happened to me this morning? You know what happened to me this morning?

Me: O, what happened to you this morning?

Bonnie: I was making takbo in our subdivision when this mama, this mama made lakad-lakad beside me. (again, in increasing pitch and volume) And you know what he said to me? And you know what he said to me? And you know what he said to me?

Me: What did he tell you?

Bonnie: Sabnya. Sabnya. Mess, mess, anglake ng ssma. (Sabi nya. Sabi nya. Miss, miss, ang laki ng susu mo.)

Me(not laughing): What, he said that to you? Sobra, syempre nagalit ka.

Bonnie: (once more, in increasing pitch and volume) Yeah. Yah. YEAAAAH! I was so galet talegah. (for the nth time, in increasing pitch and volume) And you know what I said to him? You know what I said to him? You know what I said to him?

Me: O, what did you say to him?

Bonnie: (again...) I said to him. I said to him. I said to him. Ptngnamah! (pauses for a second.) Okay, gottago to class pa. See you later, guys.

**********************

Just this morning.

K: Ayoko kay Christian Campbell. Sana di na sya lumaki from Trick.

J: Gwapo sya pag nakangiti.

K: Ayoko pa rin sa kanya. Mas gusto ko ang ate nya.

J: Si Naomi?

Gay Bloggers' Chorva on Relasyong M2M

At nagblog ang mga bakla.

Tungkol sa relasyon. Ng lalaki sa lalaki. Kelot sa kelot. Man to man.

Itinaas sa kakaibang level ng ating mga fellow bloggers ang usaping M2M relationship.

So go for the gold to the highest level na tayey. Read on them blogs:

1. Modang chasing pavements ang bayot sa bukid na si Mandaya (ang aking co-conspirator sa chuva project na itech) habang inirerelay ang mga minahal.

2. Asking the question naman kung paano nga ba magkaron ang sana'y hindi forever virginal na si Kalansay Collector, or more popularly known as KC.

3. Dedicated naman kina Sam at Piolo ang Being Together, Being Free ng dyosang dragang si Jase.

4. Sino ang hindi mami-misty-eyed sa endless love ng Reyna Elena sa isang pangit, mataba at matandang maputing lola?

5. The future of relationship naman ang chova ni Jericho.

6. Bananas places his take on M2M relationship. Or his lack of it?

7. Long distance relationship is what Gibo's entry is all about. May future nga ba?

8. Chris Cafuir will let you in on an open secret.

9. Nagmodang soap opera nga ba ang Goddess sa kanyang Maalala Mo Kaya entry?

10. Naramdaman ko ang Tell Me On A Sunday sa entry ng Bryan Miseducated.

11. Kung may Ate Charing ang Goddess, feeling Rosa naman ang Misiz J sa kanyang KKMK.

12. Who would not read Holdencaulfieldist Pat's Meander?

13. My Ruff on what should really go first.

14. Mamangha sa Empress Maruja sa kanyang Kapag Puso't Kapalaran ang Nagdkita... Charot!

15. O naman, I am Changing ang moda ng Zen Bitch. Jennifer Holliday, ikaw ba iyan?

16. John Halcyon Von Rothschild tells us about the folly of "virtual" love and what it really means to love in Real Love.

17. Damn Pretty Rachel has a damn pretty message to all chauvinist pigs in her Friday Madness.

Maraming tenchuness sa lahat ng mga friendivas sa weblog. Lalo na sa Reynz for being so enthusiastic, encouraging and ever makulit. I love her sooo.

Sa mga hindi naseylaluhan, sorriness. Limited lang ang Melani Marquez brain waves kez. Next time, it will be a movement. A revolutienne.

Sya sya. By the way, hindi ako nagpi-prima donna kung nahuli ang aking entry. Trulalu ang chorva ng friendivang Jericho, mahirap pala talagang magsalita tungkol sa isyung itez.

Dreams

So what is my stake on this relationship? Simple.

That he will tell me right that minute what he thinks and not the day after.

That we will argue not just for the sake of argument.

That he will understand it if I travel a lot and we won't see each other very often.

That he will expect me to understand too that he travels a lot and that we won't see each other very often.

But that we will get in touch with each other as much as we can.

That when we are apart, we won't fool around.

That we will remain gracious and unperturbed when we reveal disturbing histories to each other.

That when the honeymoon stage has ended, we would still live together.

That we may not actually live together for the first few months of our togetherness.

That there will always be days of living apart in this togetherness.

That we will have friends outside our own circle.

That we will remain true to this commitment, then to each other.

That we will grow old together.

That we will grow old together in the movement.

And that he will kiss me the way Miguel Alvarez kissed Andrew Beckett.

At that very moment.


Some made it happen. A lot failed. A few are trying to make it.

I am one of those who want to. Make it.

It's not that bad to dream, is it?

Why The Succeeding Post

Mandaya and I had a short chat about our relationships last December. I was egging him on to tell me about his days on end with Kulot, who happens to be straight, while I volunteered virtually nothing about mine.

Tinanong ko sya kung bakit hindi nya isinusulat ang mga bagay na ‘to sa blog nya. He said, “Wala naman kasing nagtatanong.”

So we came up with an idea: Bakit hindi kaya magsulat ang mga gay bloggers ng pagtingin nila sa relasyong lalaki-sa-lalaki while downplaying the love aspect. Questions like these came up: Ano ba ang moda ng relasyong ganito sa ngayon? Ano ba talaga ang gusto nating maganap sa ating mga relasyon?

I right away rummaged through my blog roll (and others’ as well) and sent them an email or a shout out. I told them about the whole thing and asked if they can agree to write something about it and post whatever they came up with on January 21, tomorrow.

Why January 21? Kasi one month ang paghahanda at hindi dapat lumanding sa birthday ni Kris Aquino, which happens to be February 14. Odiba, alangan naman…

For those who will, maraming salamat. For those who still want to do it post-January 21, please do. Pretty sure many would like to know what you think. For those who decide not to, walang problema. Minsan, mahirap talagang pag-usapan ang ganitong mga bagay.

People Power II

How does one remember People Power II?

Is it by the sheer number of lightning rallies, mass demonstrations and actions that one has attended in the whole course of 1999 and 2000 that led to the eventful millions-strong mobilization that shook Joseph Estrada from his seat and led him to take the barge from Malacanang to the other side of the Pasig River?

Is it the courage to be standing on top of a rented jeepney, a makeshift stage in Mendiola or the one in Edsa Shrine fueling the people's rage against a corrupt and totally discredited regime while secretly coaching the unknowing daughter of a landlord to say "ang tanging masang anakpawis lamang ang makakapagpatalsik sa walang kwentang si Erap"?

Is it the volume of press releases, media gimmickry and other pamphlets one has to churn out every single day to be distributed to media friends and people on the streets as one marched from Morayta to Mendiola, from UP Diliman to Batasang Pambansa, from one part of Makati to another part of Makati, and every square area of Edsa Shrine?

Is it that fateful night when one jumped into the nearest public utility vehicle after a day-long meeting while texting other colleagues to rendezvous at Cubao and march all the way to Ortigas, which to be the place of continuous protests, endless debates and meetings while snipping at the littlest rest imaginable?

Is it that text brigade that turned into a movement as people not only in Manila but in every part of the country massed up in huge numbers and encouraging thousands more as they shouted in unity for Estrada to resign?

Yes, it is all these. And on top of them, the very thought that Filipino people can actually decide on their fate by collectively ending the political career of someone who only made our lives miserable and bleak. And with that resolve, we are willing to go that extra mile and maximize everything within arm's reach (as in this case, our mobile phones) to ensure that our demands will be realized.

And it is this same thought that runs in every Filipino, man, woman or child, straight, gay, lesbian or what have you, as we express our disgust for a woman who, despite her nano-size, has an ego of a buffoon, a heart made for self-glory and a soulless desire for power large enough to swallow Middle Earth in all its entirety.

I prefer to call it People Power II, not Edsa Dos simply because the outcry did not happen only in metropolitan Manila but everywhere, in and outside the country. I prefer to call it People Power II because every Filipino, from every walk of life, took part in it.

And people means masses. And who comprise the masses?

One is never too young or too gay to be involved. We did it with two men and we can do it again, this time with a woman.

Now you ask me: what if the president were gay or lesbian? I would not bat an eyelash.

Our people power did not have a gender, honey.

One Decides to be Star-Struck

Phulumulu meets Coelho. Or was it, Coelho meets Phulumulu?

Hindi Batid ng Madrid

Hindi batid ng Madrid na minamanmanan ko ang lahat ng mga anak ng dyos na ginawa nyang waiter, driver, immigration officer, pulis, security guard, translator, tagabigay ng translation device, tambay, naglalakad sa daan, presidente at sa mga sadyang unfortunate-for-them-but-fortunate-for-me na itinalaga nya dito sa napakawalang kwentang bahagi ng Madrid - sa Ciudad de las Naciones.

Hindi batid ng Madrid na pinaplano kong kunan ng litrato ang lahat ng mga nilalang para sa kaligayahan ng mga bakla kong kaibigan at sige na, pati mga fellow bloggers na may kipay para naman mauhog ng konti ang kanilang mga sinapupunan oras na lumanding ang kanilang mga ogling eyes sa mga papa ng buwan.

Hindi batid ng Madrid na ang tanging mga papa nya lamang ang tanging nakakapagdistract sa akin kahit un momento sa walang humpay kong pag-iisip sa aking tunay na papa. Si Papang. Si Fadear. Si Tatay.

Dapat nang magwakas ang civilizasiones meeting na ito. Kailangang makauwi na ako.

Marami pang pwedeng maging papa sa mundo. Pero iisa lang ang papa ko.

Kaletra

Meet Kaletra. K-A-L-E-T-R-A. Kaletra.

She is the latest and most advised companion for PWH, or people with HIV. She is the one you would be running to when your CD4 (immune cells) count is dangerously down and you need some prepping up. She deserves mutual respect and attention once she in your company. So never let her down, or your health will be.

Dr. Kenny introduced Kaletra to me yesterday over a tea-less afternoon meeting. Apparently, my CD4 has plummeted to 203 and it is seriously prescribed that I take no chances in letting the virus take over.

Syasya, iinumin ko na po sya.

Kaletra is a protease inhibitor. As its name implies, it blocks the protease enzyme found in the human cell which the human immunodeficiency virus needs to make copies of itself. If this becomes successful, the HIV replicates itself without any harm to the human cell.

Unfortunately, studies have shown that every new HIV cell made may adapt and become virtually resistant to the drug. Hence, it is strongly suggested that protease inhibitors like Kaletra be taken with other anti-HIV drugs in order to keep the HIV production at an all-time low while creating more CD4 cells.

Kaya, me Combivir pa!

Mutual attention would mean religiously following the regimen - drinking Kaletra and Combivir every 12 hours - for the drugs to take effect.

Side effects are there of course, i.e. diarrhea, nausea, vomiting, fat absorption and lipid redistribution, muscle and joint pain, headache, fatigue, depression, appetite loss, skin rashes and anemia.

No sex drive loss? No sex drive loss. Great.

I hope I will not turn out to be Paul or Palma's bottom should there be any fortuitous occasion.

Kung ayaw mo, hwag.

Living with HIV is not like walking through a rampway with all the lights and eyes flashing and focused all on you. It does not work that way, we are not showbiz personalities.

Kaletra and Combivir are not any drugs one takes simply because they are high-class or in fashion. I can very well guess just how much a tablet in the Philippines costs and the thought makes me shudder.

Sabi nga nila, the best option is prevention. If you can condomize it, PLEASE.

Activism 101: Why Joining Demonstrations is Good for You

WHILE it is not the totality of being an activist, joining demonstrations can be good for one's heart, mind, soul and body.

Walking helps strengthen the heart, build endurance and burn some fats, too. Chanting helps voice modulation and possibly a knack at public speaking. Knowing the issue, believing in the demands and learning to assert and negotiate without really compromising fortifies that resolve, self- or collective.

And of course, there are the other perks...



Now, who says one can only find the men in the pride?

Anatomy of Sad

It is when you look at the monitor and a man's plump ass smiles at you. And you do not respond.

It is when you try to feel the keys on the board and you are warmly welcomed by letters. And you press space.

It is when you check your emails and you respond to them. And you end Hello with a period.

It is when you surf blogs and read posts. And you cannot smile.

It is when you write and publish a post. And you delete it after.

It is when you read a book and you finish it. And you say nothing.

It is when you listen to music and Bob Dylan plays. And you do not mind.

It is when you cross the street and a friend is across. And you do not notice.

It is when you start to run and you continue to run. And run. And run.


It is when Tatay may have to go and you don't want him to.



And I don't want him to.

V - First Installment

V stands for virtually anything.

For every breathing Filipino homosexual male in the planet who has at one time spoken gay lingo and attuned himself to the very fact that gays do exist, it is vital that they know every word that has the letter V in it: victorious, Valentina, Voracay, vayot, valium, vodka, virus (no Eek! there) and for some unfortunate men, viagra.

Of course, the letter v does not have to exist as the leader of the pack. Like gays who come in droves despite the inability to bear children and where everyone is vital, v can be present either in the middle or at the end(end meaning it is pronounced as the last letter, giving it an insurmountable amount of vvvv!)

No, this post is not about letters. This is about people, events and places that made a Very ViVid and ViVacious impact on this Vikolanong Vaklang Aktivista.

So who, what and where are they? Loren Legarda, with your overgrown and totally-overused Filipiniana gown, PASOK!

Lyka and Mandaya

Lyka Bergen (L) and Mandaya Moore-Orlis (R)

They are the first two gay bloggers I have ever encountered.

Lyka, or Lyka Bergen, is part of the triumvirate +1 in the Las Tres Estrellas (LTE) while Mandaya is the world-renowned bayot sa bukid, Mandaya Moore-Orlis.

I remember it oh so well. Vayutang A had me checked out the Wonder Woman post of the LTE and was wildly amazed by the idea that gay blogging can be so much fun. Of course, who would not miss Mandaya's comment on Yunjin Kim in Lost and my most-faved Shiri? And trulalu, the rest was history.

They added spunk (fresh spunk, sister!) to the highly-intellectualized world of internet journals and made it even more palatable for many poor gay people back in the Philippines to spend whatever is left of their weekly school allowance to check the internet and YES, go beyond gay porn sites, guys4men, friendster or RPG games.

Mandaya strung words like sequins and crystals on beautiful gowns. Maraming mga baklang ingglisera ang araw-araw nagpapanik-panaog sa kubo ng dalagang bukid upang humaplos, sumamyo sa kagandahang kanyang gawa. But he does not only write now, he also bakes.

Lyka and the LTE, on the other hand, talk about almost anything under the sun, aside from the men who lie themselves in wait for a gold tan on a summer's day. It was not all men for the LTE, which made me got hooked to them. They talked about relationships, of love and lust, TV series and movies, friendships lost and friendships regained, fashion, politics, like gay people talk about and go through our lives.

And with them to thank, I have met other stars in the gayest constellation ever. Just check my blog menu, most of them are there.

They truly are vunggang vayutang vloggeras of this vorld.

Sundays and Holidays

Central is like a marae. You just keep coming back to it,
even with the absence of men. (photo by Corazon Amaya-Canete)

Sundays and holidays are the best days for me because that is the time I go out in my best-dressed type ever and be with fellow kababayans, who are mostly domestics, on their days off.

There in the heart of Hong Kong Island, one can find the truest and most humble of people.

You will also find the tambayan with the best dinuguan or papaitan, most sumptuous embutido, winningest coffee, best-cooked rice, the leche flan that will make you cry for dear life. ALL!

One Sunday would not be enough to go around the whole lot of kababayans. Every Sunday is an event in itself and I would sometimes see myself prancing from one area to another, either to speak, perform with my group, discuss issues, teach theater and dance, sing karaoke, judge beauty contests (sadly!) or simply play and laugh the night away. Wala nang ingglis ingglis!

Volume

The last and vest find of the year is the voted best and straight-friendliest gay bar in Hong Kong - drums roll, big, delicious men of the taiko drums - VOLUME!

Vayutang A and I are happy to find a fresh respite away from our very jealous husbands, our work.

Vayutang A was depressingly quiet for some reason and we decided to head out to this new bar to relax and just be in the gay scene. We traversed the long Hollywood Road. At dahil di naman kami palaboy ng bakla, we got lost for what seemed like minutes until we screamed Eureka at the site of the three buddhas.

If a goddess would replace Birhen ng Pagbabyahe, it would have to be Rye, who patiently provided us with landmarks to the place. And whom we met for the first time that night. Together with other possibilities. For friends. (Ano to, grand EB?)

Where I sit with friends

Minus that lousy sexy dancer and some unforgettable others, Volume is a place where one has the freedom to either dance (like that big man with a green shirt), chat, or do both the night away. No entrance fee, reasonably priced drinks and less pretentious people (not like in Propaganda, according to an English architect Vayutang A met as he queued in line for the most-coveted toilet.)

As what one newfound friend said about Volume and gay life in Hong Kong: Sa Pinas, lahat nagmamaganda (nagpapamhin). Dito you can just be yourself. At kahit magpakabakla ka, makakagetlak ka pa rin ng lalaki.

He didn't say the last sentence, of course. Although I am pretty sure he did. Get a man.


(Phew, nakakapagod na inggles 'to!)